Traveling from 19 July 2026 to 9 August 2026
Weather check : rain 19°c, 0 - 40%
Monday : 7am, 14°c
Plane ticket : ZSUQGY
Boarding : check : 19:30 ; on plane : 20:15.
Authorized suitcases (3): backpack + cabin bag (max 10kg) + suitcase 20kg
Seat : 28F
Fast track
Assurance : VW66V-8FRE3-INS
University : Adam Mickiewiecz
/blog
to do :
- Should offer something to Vinnie in exchange of the cig
✅ Offer chocolate and Milka to Noé
✅ Offer a hongbao to Karolina and Galina and Patricia
✅ Eat with the asian team (Socialisee with Lucy, Ray, Save)
✅ Gift HauYen (silly PIEROGII)
✅Gift for Dan (street)
✅ Gift for Iano/Lou : 2 postcards
✅ Offered my pj to Wojtek, paint and my shinigami necklace
https://youtu.be/rR001X7JQy8?is=Thama8LYhnKWUeaB
Sanah - Nic dwa razy 🎶
film :
The lure, (2015)
9.08.26 I am leaving today ! WHY UBER ARE SO SLOW come on... service 0/20 COME ON WHAT THE FUCK they must be kidding. lol. It's Sunday. Heavy roadwork in front of me blocking all the way. Good job My hair is getting so loooong ehe I am heading back home, plane in two hours and 15 minutes. My bags are heavyyyy 16:12 okay I am at the airport !!!! It seems I have to wait before sending my luggages becauuuse i am scared to send it to the wrong plane lol I sat at a "customer only place" hoping no one will come talk to me... Eating salty snacks to keep me awake +w+ 17:15 GATES FOR CHECKIN IN are ALWAYS changing the hell My plane is at 18:05 lmaoooooo what
Wrote : "Create a peaceful mind and call it your home"
8.08.26 "Thank you for everything it was a blessing to encounter you" I just learned to love and being okay with endings ~
7.08.26 Today is Friday, last day at uni summer courses ! They prepared a special food and I ordered salmon (we were able to choose) but when I came, there was nothing left for me. I guess I am not eating today. Special diet ahahaha I am so frustrated. Honestly. but I went out to smoke and saw Madoka Magica cosplayers !!!!! I decided to hide a little bit in the shadow of uni I wish something good happen to me but I am exhausted I am exhausted fat pigs are eating food Brash cats die young I am trembling
6.08.26 I am under pressure, too much consciousness of my presence and it gives me anxiety and the urge to kill myself, everyone hates that I know I am showing red flags I should disappear Skipping class because I feel so bad. I have a huge ecchymose on my elbow. I want to trash myself And also I am very very scared When I will be back in my country, I know that I will feel bad. I am feeling it already, post-depression travel, feeling of being lost, or going back to a place (my room) that doesn't fit my evolution. I will feel stuck, so I wish to myself to feel reposed and rest in peace I must have the positive feeling and gratefulness for being able to see slavic land. I must never forget that I had fun, ate good food (best potatoes ever), that I can come back because I've planted seeds here, and it will be fruits. This travel will be the beginning of lots more, I will work and travel, I want unlimited accomplishments. But also I need rest. My home is the place I can rest, but I also need a place to cry sometimes. [I need a place to cry] I am feeling like a stone by keeping my emotions very tightly in my heart when I just want to explode in very tiny little fragments and merge with the dust. The sharpness hurts other, their skin but also their mind, their feelings, their soul. No one wants to step on broken glass. Because it hurts and it can be avoided. I want to cut, I want to destroy something beautiful I am like this for too long mmmh maybe I need somo time idk
Every time i pass near a green area with Tsurune vibe... c'est un terrain avec des cibles pour arc à flèches 🌱
5.08.26 Helped a lil grandma to go in the tramway Saw Laila in the streets !! my princess !!! Saw my talk goth friend Wojtek and we attended the polish videogame lecture then we went yo see Beksiński exposition !!! IT WAS SO COOL and fresh inside the building huhuhu hm aaah my friend seems tired, it's 18:07 and he's already heading back home I feel hmmm lonely now I wish we spend more time together but bro doesn't seems to have feeling Maybe I am flirting too hard, trying to hard idk He was the first to talk to me, so obviously I liked him. I even didn't take my headphones, what a shame I feel stupid in the silence now It's so warm today. Around 33°c... I just still can't believe I went yo see Zdzisław Beksiński expo... It reminds me of one of the painting project Nekroz talked to me about...
Notes:
Zdzisław Beksiński
Born in Sanok
"Determination"
crazy and disgusting
Macabre
Maniac of perfection
Protest painting from 1971-1974
Resistance
Intellectuel
"A diploma doesn't paint."
Self-taught
Architect at first
Inside the head
Propose his own language
Project, gallery in Paris, cooperation
Murdered in Warszaw on 2005
ołówek = pencil
węgiel = charcoal
Wojtek offered me a very cute charm !!! At the last moment, he is so kind
I wish he wasn't so socially anxious
We went to house store also and he bought a jacket, I wanted to buy a pants but he told me that I should be patient
and we will come back on Saturday to buy it (i keep telling him "maybe", because i feel so unsure about this relationship, it seems very indifferent about me, maybe he doesn't want me to be close or he is too égoïste)
4.08.26 Today I am going to meet JOY !!!! took a fortune cookie and it said something about a incoming surprise... We are going to a theater café of solewhere pretty they know oh my friend date keep delaying so I am waiting at the tram stop, I didn't take my headphones, have to wait 17min ;___; also it's warmmm outside maybe I should go to uni
3.08.26 Laundry, Musta, black paint and painting I SAW A LITTLE HEDGEHOG !!!!!! We're going to visit Beksiński expo Made some researches about Kaliber 44, since Hotaru talked to me about "Magik" the vocalist (of Paktofonika) who committed suicide in December 2000. (polish dark humor said : "do Magik" as a synonym for kill yourself, aha) it resonates a lot with me. The 44 in the name of K44 is from Dziady (in scene 5, part III) a written work by Adam Mickiewicz. "Patrz! oto dziecię uszło, rośnie, to obrońca! Wskrzesiciel narodu. Z matki obcej; krew jego dawne bohatery. A imię jego czterdzieści i cztery." = "Look ! the child has escaped, he is growing, he is a defender! The resurrector of the nation. From a foreign mother ; his blood is ancient heroes. And his name is forty-four." Took a nap. So warm today My stomach hurts. I feel like I eat too much and I keep buying good that's no good, it's temptation by influence of others pipo = craquage consumériste.
2.08.26 Going to meet Hotaru ! I don't know what i expectttt It was absolutely SO perfect. We went to a japanese cafe, they smoked incense there and so the vibe gave such a cosy atmosphere Took a dorayaki ~ the seats were on a wooden stairs, then we walked in the forest and around a lake We talked about the history and how it affects our lives Love our discussions, it was so interesting 🫀 They know about Sala samobójców, about IB, about many dark references. We have common interests, we have stories to share I truly enjoyed their presence They said "I hope this moment will inspire you for the future" something that sincerely resonate in my heart, in my soul ~~~ In the evening I went yo the game room and got spilled on by coca-cola. So I must wash my clothes
Ivan hugged me he is so cute and kind also is her gf
1.08.26 AUGUST IN POLAND !!!! it's raining q lot today ~ Visiting some stores because tolorrow everything will be closed ! manganime stores... some art supplies... ayeee shopping time ! Ate a onirigiroll thing under a random entrance will its raining, listening at Mucc then Jiluka Had courage to ask Hotaru to go out ! Tomorrow ! We're meeting at 14:30 gyaaaah SO EXCITED maybe tonight we're going to cinema with Wojtek and his cousin ~~~ ohmyguh !
We were supposed tgt cinema
Its raining a lot, I am waiting for it to stop so I can go yo Yatta then to the dorms do I can makeup myself before 18h I got many gifts for my friends ^___^ especially No.6 stuffs because I NEVER SAW ANY MERCHES OF THEM IN MY COUNTRY!!!!!!! okay sooo the cinema was full so we just wandered under the rain aaand the goth friend looks pissed whyyyy nooooo It feels weird We went to a bar and everyone seems so pissed and annoyed why Obviously my friend wasn't here and dude at the bar were mean nooooo i mean i didn't understand what they said so i feel left behind. mmh I feel left behind i feel left behind Interactions were disappointing listening to some more musics it's fine it's okay it's fine it's okay I feel pressured I don't like that I need hope and kindness and and and It's going to be okay I got cute plushies and silly things It's patching me up I try not to be too suicidal, i am a bad influence I am scared of people I am so unkind I give the bad exemple Hoping I will leave a mark in the mind Wojtek offered me a bracelet and a manga, a plushie He said he is always like that I asked him if he has a girlfriend and he laughs Avoiding the subject Why i am persevering ? I know it can't be reciprocate I know i am impossible to be loved I just want kind moments I feel stressed, under pressure The only one can understand me is myself and my headphones I am smoking so muchIt's Friday because i skipped meal I was soooo hungry this morning and ATE A SHIT TON but I feel tired now I went to morning courses, and the lecture was a bit boring... Then obiad : ate a shit ton again Now ? I want to go to paint. It makes me feel bad that our international group is splitting Some people do this, some other do that, there are the main activities that are also splitted in two groups this is bad. yabai So I am finding some peace at the dorm I slept almost the whole afternoon yesterday so I want to go out tonight. Especially because it's Friday and tomorrow it's going to rain ME SUIS FAIT PETA MON SPOT JE VAIS HURLER. putain de salopard que je suis Ended up meeting a cool guy nice nice nice Ate a lody shaped as a panda Receive a warning msg about an incoming tempest I need a happy coincidence to happen
30.07.26 visited Murale na Hetmańskiej Chill out in the Park Wilsona Went to Vandal cafe : took a jasmin lemonade it was sooo refreshing went back to the dorms and slept
29.07.26 i went to take shii at uni because i was close and there was a workshop in the hall but my vision were blurry so I thought it wasn't my group (I am skipping some courses, especially social workshops) but it was them I just went to poop and like everything saw me AND I FEEL LIKE everbuddy knows what i did and it so hilarious, ridiculous and stupid hahahaha Why is the tram so crowded Took a nap zzzmimi
28.07.26 I met sekai_sick hhhguuhhhyhuuuu at the mall where she's working by coincidence because we failed to find the good store Yatta.pl and ended up in a mall, I offered her my Homura charm... Ordered a 6.5€ matcha lavender oughhhhh my first since long time... I have an apple in my bad. Prolly my repas du soir J'ai beaucoup mangé ce matin et cet aprem
Downloaded all the music of Psychonaut 4. healing.
27.07.26 It's raining, it's Monday, I am tired but positive ! 12:34 gyuuh I can't see shit in class Trembling because periods and hungry My pretty goth friend arrived uuuh he is so COOL Got a lecture about polish street art and it was about only legal murals went to a chinese restaurant but the waitress is very speed and insisting she is making me uncomfortable she was cute in the end Getting very quiet when bullied in the street Ate coconut cookies and pudding Why do I feel forced today Skipped courses Walked a lot I don't know how I feel why we haven't - I am stupid !!! Something is wrong with me today ? I am tired, I want to be left alone, I don't have energy anymore They're like a vampire But I don't get enough of it oh no this is so wrong I am hungry...
26.07.26 nap ate onigiri
25.07.26 Woke up and slept again then walked then I went on a date with that goth person I met We visited an abandoned place Poznańskie Zakłady Naprawcze Taboru Kolejowego S.A.
24.07.26 I think I'm going to get my peepeeriod today. Headache in the left side, puffy eye on the right I feel doomed, tired, exhausted My body doesn't enjoy this I need isolation Arrived late at course- Discussed with Ahmed at the end of the lecture Had one hour free so I went to a second hand store and bought a tee shirt with a wolf We visited the National gallery museum, after spotting the artworks I prefer I left because of exhaustion and I sat on a bench in front of a asian restaurant So many cool goths pipo wandering in this city ouuhhh I took the picture of a dead bird and a very tall guy with a very cool style complimented me
23.07.26 Visited PRL-U muzeum Got the number of a tattooed waiter
22.07.26 Weather check : 14°c-21°c, 18km/h wind. Take is easy on third day (be careful about your body !!) an advice an older person told me at the lesson Tomorrow cloudy and windy weather. We have a workshop (phonetics?) in the afternoon then I want to chill a little bit. It will be cold and windy so I should bring my cap ??? I feel like having my period soon... Śniadanie is from 8h-9h but I want to arrive at 8:18 so I can leave at 8am. I want to look open and friendly : morning courses, and lecture then workshop : I want to wear very main-outfit me. Then tmrw I will wear cute clothes. Today was so much fun !!! Ate an onigiri with a friend ~ Had hilarious moments at the workshop Got lost in the city, wandered with Ivan, went at the wrong restaurant (people from the group chat went to eat all together and we arrived to the wrong adress because it's a chain food) Neocities reforms ?? with email confirmations, might lose my other blogs. It's killing me.
21.07.26 8:31 ate at the buffet nomnom We arrived at 7:50 so early and we were the first one /hungry nerd I sweated a lot yesterday night. Peepeeriods are arriving I think. Today : courses (was a little bit done, 9h to 12:15 is very intensive and my teacher is fun but really stressful and fast and anxiety is rising) Then a conference/lecture, it was interesting, about the Polish literature ! But the slides were IA generated Ate obiad (it means midday lunch) : I love cabbage. very Kamikaze gurls. Polish cabbage is all I want. The potatoes were also SO SOFT and tender and I love potatoes uhuhu We had a guided tour and I hated it. The guy was pitiful (I feel sorry for him), and I had the urge to run away and freely visit the city. Some of the peopme I met were "mindlessly" following the guy so I just ended up leaving with one friend (I think he was tired of walking a lot with me ? or was he just tired ?) but it was very fun, we went into PaperCorner and bought stationary furniture (a permanent pen, and a pen for me) I think he is a little nerd who likes to study because he bought some fluos. I want to offer him Milka and chocolate. He has something in common with Shadi, an old friend (who never asks me news btw) so I like him, I know there are different but I cherish this friendship ! Saw many graffitis it was soooo cool to wander in the city ! We entered in a sklep, anf the themat of the store was "cat" : there were many cat stuffs it was hilarious but THE SMELL INSIDE was so strange We ran late for dinner but it was very mid, chleb (bread) and old veggies so I went to buy an apple, smoke a cig (should offer something to " Vinnie " in exchange of the cig !) and I was kind of mad because someone repeatedly asked me : " Is your country that depressing ?" because ... uh I don't know... maybe I was tired of the day, maybe it was kist my intonation, maybe is was just me A little bit overwhelmong interaction but I could talk to other pipo, especially gurls gendered. And a person in the group has veey nice badges (and a Malice Mizer one !) How I feel: drank too much coffee
20.07.26 Helo everynyan ! It's 12°c ~ Cold fresh summer ~ We have a meet-up at 7:30 (it's now 6:44) First was super funnnn we visited the uni Adam Mickiewicz (literally the place where they filmed Hejter from Jan Komasa) and we did some interactive exercices with others Lots of social interactions, crushes, awkward moments I feel like another person when people don't know me. It's kind of shaping me differently Polish is so hard and it seems polish people are rude to strangers (especially little emos ?) I rest in a dorm in a shared room with a young (wanna be teacher) german gurl, she is very lovely and pink. My haircut is very very crooked and it makes me feel bad. It rained today ! I took a shower and listened at Jiluka in my headphones, then watched a little bit of Sala samobójców, listen at Scars from ALNSTG anniversary. I met a very gay dude and it's very fun because he shares a room with a very hetero cisman who is very chill. We chatchatted about yaoi and furry stuffs it's 22:26 now. I am writing this log and is about to sleep soon. Tomorrow we have apt at 7:45 in front of the dorm !
19.07.26 21:55 ; I JUST ARRIVED IN POLAND!! it's... it's cold here COME ON UBER DUDE DRIVE FASTER WTH 46% battery we're arriving at the dorms !!! 19:39 ; Time to get on the plane !! Fuck my life for having a damn putain de cil dans l'oeil of course 19:05 ; ate my apple 🍎 Found a place where some alt gurls sat so I felt safe but it's near the food area so it smells food uh How I feel: stomachache Weather check : morning, 15°c. 17:37 ; I am at the airport ! I immediately throw my luggage in the gouffre when I arrived. My mom and bigbro drove me there, I am stressed aaah. My head hurts from being overstimulated, seen and for all the movements. I'm used to be in calm environment (my room) and bedrot for weeks. So it feels weird. The population in an airport is impressive, mmmh varied, high class (own enough money to take the plane) I don't know if I will be able to eat today. Maybe I'll eat my apple at 18h so I have enough strength to wait. I can not find the path 21 which worries me a little. Well, today is the day ! It's currently 6:15 (5:44 when I woke up) but my plane is the evening at 20:15. Pretty late but it's the only plane that goes at Poznań (and every two days), I wonder if they're going to let enter in a double room because I will disturb someone if I arrive at the dorms at 23:30... We will see! Yesterday I ate so much to reduce my stress I now have my body full and it hurts : reminder to eat less when I must go out. What I'm doing: mindless snacking Weather check : cloudy, chill, windy. 17°-19° 18.07.26 Travelling makes you experience social moments and lonely time, existence and difficulties ! It will be fine. Even if my suitcase is heavy, if I am hesitant before speaking, even if I am lost. If I lack sleep, I must be aware of that. I can't wait to be at ease... Even if I know that the linguistic difference will be confusing and stressful. And the rythm also will be tiring. I found the CD of Sala samobójców on Vinted.pl and it cheered me up ! Now that I worded my fears, I can move on and focus on the positive. My worst fears : - they lose my luggage (but I can get money in exchange for that...) maybe I should take my necessities in my handbag ? It's only 2 hours fly but uh... My suitcase is very goth also. Oh... Apparently the company will cover necessities if there's a delay for the stuffs. - Being stuck at the airport (controls and legality, racism and nationalism) - Missing my plane (rip) or dying on the plane (rip x2) - Forgetting something SO ESSENTIAL (but it's okay, it's only three weeks) Focusing on my departure... Last night at home before flying to another country ! My first solo travel !! How I feel : Planning Weather check : nightime, chill Don't forget : hobonichi, stickers, enveloppes to offer, map and good paper, scissors in pencilcase, chargers, check pogoda (weather) trousers and matching bag matching my shoes..... (difficult level of organisation) for 3 weeks
The vibe I want to give : chill, kind, little funny guy, emo, open-minded, caring. I want to share stuffs I brought. I want to be left alone sometimes (calm routine). I will be placed in the same room as someone so I list at ease to prevent when... I fart (actually important sign of trust jvj!) I want to be little artsy pipo, and meet up/draw with future encounters ... I must smile ! I must ask things to other, and just be pleasant, nice and curious.